I have a few friends right now who are trying to conceive (TTC) and having less luck than they had anticipated. Their challenges are reminding me of our own rocky road to conceiving our Bunny. I know personally how hard it is to stay sane, calm and zen about trying to get pregnant when you’re ready. Baby-making can be crazy-making!
When we decided we were ready to have a child I was ready – really ready – to get the show on the road.
I had done my homework, and my husbands, I had studied up on Basal Body Temperatures (BBTs) and monitoring cervical fluid. I had lists of foods we should both be eating more of (mostly things we should eat more of anyways like leafy greens). I bought different vitamins and supplements for both of us. I got combo packs of ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) and pregnancy tests which I dutifully took and recorded. I was sure that with our multi-pronged approach it wouldn’t take long at all…
Over the course of the next few months I would oscillate between seriously sad at the start of each new cycle to amazingly hopeful a day or two later. The days I was late were the worst – one cycle went on for 60 days and drove me crazy with test after test coming back negative. This all went on for 10 months. In Canada if you’re in the young-ish and healthy category you don’t get any further medical testing or assistance till you’ve been TTC for at least a year. I couldn’t wait.
I needed to do something more to feel like I had some power in my own life. I made an appointment, the first of many, with a naturopath. The care and attention I have received from my two naturopaths over the last few years has been incredible. Within a few appointments they had me feeling calmer, like I was more in control of the process and after a couple acupuncture sessions with them I was finally, joyously with child.
I know my road to pregnancy is pretty well in the realm of normal. I have a friend who was able to time her pregnancies / due dates to the sporting events she wanted to be watching – you know if she was going to be up all night with a newborn anyway… I have other friends that have had much less luck or eventually turned to much more substantial intervention.
Given that our experience is firmly in the realm of normal I assume that the often irrational, always obsessive, and stress-laden way I approached getting pregnant is pretty normal too. So for my friends, and all mom’s and mom’s to be out there who are trying I just want to say a few things.
First, to anyone reading please:
- Do not ask a woman – even one you know well – personal questions about her plans to have children – this is a mine field and you don’t know where you’re stepping. (lesson learnt publicly by Redford staffer as a recent example)
- If you know someone who is trying and they need to vent or commiserate or unload; be supportive and listen. Don’t offer advice unless it’s requested and please try to understand it’s a crazy-making process.
To all those trying:
- I can’t pretend to know it will happen soon for you or even that it will happen at all – I know your pain and I am wishing for your success. Keep the big picture in perspective – it helps to ward off the crazy. Bonne Chance!
- news.nationalpost.com/2013/05/15/nan… not sure how this made news but i love it! can't stop laughing - office mate thinks i've gone off it!at1 day ago
- "...then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 2/2at2 days ago
- "Listen to the mustn'ts child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves..."1/2at2 days ago